i’m sure someday i’ll change my mind

Although it was only days ago that I posted my anti-relationship plans on this here site, it’s actually been about two weeks since I put said plans into action. (Or non-action, as it were.) For the most part, this process has been about shifting my perspective, removing all pressure to be paired up, and feeling justified in a completely-independent-of-others kind of self-satisfaction. Truthfully, this change in attitude has come more easily than I imagined it would. Being mostly alone agrees with me somehow, and it’s certainly more fulfilling than the all-wrong-in-the-wrong-ways relationships to which I am accustomed.

The last time I decided to take a break from dating, my hiatus lasted over five years. That’s not to say I didn’t dabble a little in the getting after it during those years of defiant singledom, but I definitely avoided any semblance of a real relationship in favor of absolute freedom. And after just two weeks of embracing a similar sentiment, I’m beginning to remember why giving that up was such a struggle when I finally did so.

I like being single. It allows me extra time to get back in great shape, loaf (like love, but better) with the oh-so-hot and always hilarious Jess, compose informative and (hopefully somewhat) humorous posts for this site, spoon with the Sheebs, spend superfluously with my sister at Target, and study neuroscience (seriously, I’ve been doing this) on weekend nights before falling asleep just after ten. And while I realize this list of activities might not seem particularly interesting to most of my readers, to me it’s sort of ideal.

I don’t even miss the getting down part of dating, as most of the men with whom I’ve been intimate have been mostly dysfunctional about doing the deed. I’ve decided I’d much rather go it alone than ever again feel so undesired.

I’m afraid this decision to not date for a while might ultimately make me incurably single.

And I’m starting to think that might not be so bad.