timing

After a brief reconciliation, my relationship—romantic or otherwise—with G. is officially over, as I don’t take well (anymore) to week-long, post-coital(ish) disappearances, failures to call, and basic avoidances. Because these behaviors are not particularly (see: at all) indicative of friendship, I reluctantly ended mine with G. on Monday.

Hearing this news Tuesday evening, my friends immediately went to work trying to find me a new fellow, more convinced than ever that a girl like me is a terrible thing to waste. These friends have spent much of the past two years encouraging me to pursue countless men (and one woman)—customers, coworkers, roommates—in spite of my non-compliance and my relationship (uncertain as it was) with G. So I have to assume they’re secretly excited I’m now completely unattached, as it should (theoretically) make their task less daunting by making me (theoretically) more apt to acquiesce.

As I sipped my first—of many—adult beverage(s) on Tuesday, the matchmaking mayhem commenced, and I made the (possibly ill-advised) decision to play along. At least for the evening.

After a few failed attempts to pawn me off on unsuspecting suitors—our very married server, Bryn’s half-my-height housemate, and the embarrassed-by-his-friends, secretly-admiring-me doctor (seriously, a doctor) at the table next to us—I was introduced to a man, a friend of a friend, with the potential to be more than just a victim of my buddies and their get-the-guy (for me) game.

Hours of conversation and a whiskey-induced kiss convinced me this man and I might share something more substantial than a single night’s exchange. But when I emerged the next morning from my alcohol-infused haze, I questioned my certainty on the subject. And when he phoned to inquire about taking me out, I couldn’t coerce myself into even answering his call.

It’s not that I’m not interested, it’s just that I’m exhausted. Too emotionally depleted, too tired of trying and hoping for change, to be good for anyone else. For a while. And so, to my disappointment, this decent guy is unfairly reduced to a rebound, at the hands of an (enlightening, at times, but mostly) unhealthy relationship that lasted far too long.