best decision ever

I come from a family of recovering Mormons, and after over a decade of freedom, I’d like to believe we’re pretty much cured.

I know plenty of individuals who have left the Mormon church on their own, without support from family members who can’t quite comprehend their decision to ditch The (as they refer to it) Church. And I sympathize with these friends, whose religious choices have often been made at the expense of familial relationships. I admire them for their integrity, for refusing to act the part when pretending seems the easiest option.

I’m lucky. I’ve never had to pretend, as my decision to abandon my religious upbringing was met with virtually no resistance. My dad—who had already made the same choice for himself—said nothing. And my mom—who would later leave the religion as well—never pressured me to reconsider. I was afforded the freedom—in spite of my surprisingly young age (see: fourteen)—to find out what I believed, to reformulate my faith outside the context of Mormon doctrine.

It hasn’t always been easy. I’ve had to restructure my experience of spirituality, my conception of morality, my expectations and aspirations for the future. I’ve struggled with uncertainty, and I’ve confronted guilt on numerous occasions, even when I know (intellectually, that is) my actions to be blameless. Eradicating lingering moralities (and the unnecessary shame they can sometimes cause) has been a challenge. And only in recent years have I (finally! and) consistently felt uninhibited by such stubbornly repressive instincts. It’s an amazingly liberating feeling.

Abandoning the religion of our childhood has been nothing but beneficial for my family. Escaping the often suffocating world (at least in my experience) of Mormonism has brought us closer, allowing us to be more genuine in our interactions, more candid in our conversations, and more drunk in our celebrations.

My family has scandal in our blood. I’m so happy we’re finally embracing it.