the upside of morality

When Saren asked me to accompany her on the first leg of her four-day, cross-country road trip, I jumped at the chance to play Thelma to her Louise. Knowing that the purpose of her journey was eventual relocation to the too-far-from-me city of Chicago, I looked forward to spending twelve extra hours of quality time together in her Pray That We Make It ’84 Volkswagon, conversating and crying, singing (poorly), and snacking on cheesy poofs and chocolate chip cookies. I climbed in the car, coffee in one hand, ever-present apple in the other, and prepared for a day of farewell bonding with my soon-to-be-long-distance friend.

Ten hours, a tuna sandwich, and two apples later, we were surprised to find ourselves crammed into the cab of a tow truck, dragging the wagon behind us for the last ninety miles from Snowville (where?), Utah to Salt Lake City. Not exactly part of the plan.

But we made the most of a less-than-ideal situation, flirting shamelessly with our adorable and helpless-to-resist-us driver, hoping to entice him to lower his price and (most likely) offending his Good Mormon Boy From Small Town Utah sensibilities in the process. Saren even (only half-jokingly) highlighted my technically-still-single status and offered me up in exchange for a discounted tow. And while I certainly would have been worth the trade, I was thankful this man’s crazy Mormon morality prevented him from making a deal.

In the end, Saren saved herself five miles and fifteen dollars with a signed and personally inscribed head shot—a much safer and more innocent negotiation, one that (made me laugh but also) made me happy to be traveling with an actress.

We eventually arrived in the SLC, where I boarded a plane for my flight back to Portland, and Saren—after an anxious day at the repair shop—continued on toward Seaside, Florida, where she now resides beachside with her lucky-to-have-her boyfriend, Craig.

And, in spite of her attempts to use me as a bargaining tool and almost compromise my innocence (ha!) to save herself some cash, I miss my friend already. Flirting shamelessly with strangers just isn’t the same without her.