a self-indulgent update

My favorite East Coast cousin has inquired as to my current fence-sitting status, requesting an update with regard to my last (and apologetically depressing) post from late last week. Unfortunately, I am still perched pathetically atop the same indecisive fence, sporting an embarrassing barbed-wired wedgie, and working up the courage to choose one side or the other. There have been several short-lived dismounts in recent days, during which I have seriously considered a more proactive approach to confronting my so-often-sad self, only to later reject this decision and return to the safety of my previously occupied fence-riding position. I am currently stuck in a state of frustrating stagnation and uncertainty, searching for much-needed (and elusive) inspiration to incite myself to action.

To sum it up, I’m not doing much better, but—on the bright side—I’m not doing much worse, either. That’s something, I suppose.

I am also more acutely aware of exactly which side of this fence my stubborn ass belongs, even if I can’t quite get there right now. So, I’m motivating myself with the hope that screwing my pride and embracing rationality (however that may eventually look) will revive my recently departed (and very missed) personality. Because, rumor has it, I used to be fun.